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<title>I Want To SCREAM Until MY THROAT HURTS... by lp_pinetti</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133947">I Want To SCREAM Until MY THROAT HURTS...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lp_pinetti/pseuds/lp_pinetti'>lp_pinetti</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baby DeLuca's Passing REALLY HURTS, F/F, F/M, Maya really really wants to help her, Season 4 Episode 7, WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:53:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133947</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lp_pinetti/pseuds/lp_pinetti</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
            <p>Brief mention of Andrew's DeLuca's untimely death:</p><p>Carina slowly works her way back from her intense grief over Andrew and<br/>her partner is running out of ways to help her. She called Dr. Diane Lewis...</p>
          </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andrea Herrera &amp; Robert Sullivan, Maya Bishop &amp; Carina DeLuca, Victoria Hughes &amp; Lucas Ripley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Want To SCREAM Until MY THROAT HURTS...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brief mention of Andrew's DeLuca's untimely death:</p><p>Carina slowly works her way back from her intense grief over Andrew and<br/>her partner is running out of ways to help her. She called Dr. Diane Lewis...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"She doesn't sleep in the bed: 'too soft'...or on the sofa: also 'too soft'...she thinks that her brother's death is HER FAULT, and she's<br/>
punishing herself to the extreme. I sit with her and talk with her, even though she doesn't answer-well sometimes she grunts-but<br/>
she lies on the floor and sobs. I don't know what to do."</p><p>Diane made sure that Maya has finished before providing her advice: "Reflect on your personal coping mechanisms: NOT the imagining that<br/>
you are dead, or 'eyes forward'...I'm talking about the breathing exercises we learned in your sessions and the personal quiet place where you<br/>
go when it all becomes too much; remember that Carina's struggle is unique and individual to <em> her </em>...we can't assume that what<br/>
worked for you will benefit your partner, but you can listen to them, hold them, run errands for them, sit in silence with them: much of what<br/>
you're doing now. <em> JUST BE PRESENT </em>. A grieving person rarely knows what they want or need in order to feel better, however they<br/>
DO know what feels right and what doesn't feel right," she said. "In order to take care of her, you have to take care of yourself. It is necessary but<br/>
exhausting, supporting a partner through this time. Get enough rest, eat well, and relieve your own stress with friends, family, and relaxing<br/>
activities."</p><p>Maya said, "She did say that she feels like screaming, but mostly she whimpers"...</p><p>"Encourage her to do that, to let it all out. Repeat that it's okay to not be okay, and when she's ready: I reiterate <em> When SHE'S READY </em>  that it's not<br/>
a betrayal of her brother for her to begin putting the pieces back together. I hope that this has been helpful, but that's our time."</p><p>"Very much", Maya smiled. "Once she resumes working, the Chief is going to request that she be assigned to our station, on the PRT...being at the<br/>
hospital will probably be too painful for her."</p><p>"I look forward to seeing her if she likes once that happens."</p>
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